Monologuing

Whoever came up with the name “Nor’easter” obviously has some problems of the mental kind. I don’t feel like going into detail about why I hate this word, but you should all stop saying it. Ok, let’s move on.

I’m in New Jersey and we got a lot of rain. Apparently it was more than a lot of rain and we got a telephone call from the township police saying that we might have to evacuate. I spent the entire day writing my Art History paper, and then my mother told me that I shouldn’t drive to school. Even though it stopped raining, Route 80 and Route 46 were both screwed up. I took this opportunity to finish my paper before midnight. I didn’t even get to watch 24. I feel like a poser.

Yesterday, the roads were even worse. I had class at 11:00 AM, but ended up getting to my school’s town around 12:00. I didn’t even make it to school! I ended up going to the supermarket, bought a Power-C Vitamin Water, and drove back home. I ended up getting lectured by my family about how education is not important to me. Yeah, okay, thanks.

My mom woke me up at 7:00 AM this morning. It’s a good thing that I went to sleep before 1:00 AM last night. I spent a half-hour in the bathroom, curled up on the bathroom rug, sleeping. My mom knocked on the door and yelled “HENA!! ARE YOU SLEEPING?” to which I responded “No!” I left the house around 7:50 AM and HOLY SHIT! Traffic started as soon as I left my house! The only things I had with me were a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (my sister made it for me! What a sweetheart.) and a bottle of cold water. No coffee.

These were not strong enough to keep me awake on the 2+ hours I spent trying to get to school. I kept falling asleep behind the wheel. Surprisingly, every time I woke back up, I didn’t have to move up at all. So, I ended up getting to class around 10:15 AM. Class ended at 10:45.

I decided to go to Dunkin Donuts to get coffee. I realized that the reason why I’ve been so tired lately is because I have no caffeine in my system. I bought a small coffee and finished it on the drive back home. The scenery kind of sickened me, though. I saw houses that were pretty much under water. And there were geese.

Dear Rihanna, thank you for creating this lovely song. Perfect summary of this storm.

Or not.

I hate old people.

I have valid and invalid reasons as to why I hate them, but I will save your time. I just hate old people.

I’ll be honest with you: I have warts.

Ok, so they’re plantar warts. They’re still warts. They’re ugly and annoying and only I can see them. However, late last year, I found a wart growing on the side of my right thumb. It was just a bump, but it was really ugly. I was bored one day early this year, and I spent most of my Human Origins class picking at it with an earring until blood started oozing out. (Sidenote: I am really gross.) I actually used my thumb’s wart blood to paint pretty pictures on my notebook paper. When I came home, I started picking at it more and more until the wart would not stop bleeding. I wrapped a band-aid over it until it dried. It took about 2 weeks for the wart’s scab to disappear. Currently, my thumb is wartless.

I have a lot of warts on the bottom of my right foot’s toes. I don’t know why they decided to grow there, but they keep reproducing and it annoys the hell out of me. My mom bought that Dr. Scholz Freeze-Off Wart Remover thing for my dad (he has a huge one on the side of one of his toes) and I used it twice. On the same wart, mind you. Of course, nothing happens.

This is a conspiracy.

I did research on warts and found out that it’s caused by the Human Papillomavirus. Yeah. That. That thing that causes cervical cancer. Does this mean that my toes have cancer? Do my toes need radiation? Do they need to go through chemotherapy?

No, apparently not. How unfortunate; I wanted a valid reason to get out of my classes.

Anyway, Dr. Scholz is a ripoff. I’m just going to keep showing off my plantar warts to my mirror and wait until the day that they magically disappear.

And into the world!  Well, hello readers.  I’m attempting to start an actual blog, something that everyone can read.  I don’t care if you don’t think I’m interesting, because you’re all obese dorks who have no sense of humor.  Get off your fat buttocks and go do something with your life.

Here’s to hoping I’ll keep this blog updated.