Monologuing

I have the feeling that ghosts are here in my house, but they only stop by when it’s snowing and cold outside.

Feel free to stay as long as you need to, ghosts!

When it snows, I feel like I’m in another world. Much like Narnia, but also very different. The red sky I see outside my window right now makes me feel like I’m a princess trapped in a tower on another planet.

At least it’s warm inside.

I had a dream last night where my college was a huge spiral staircased building with the cafeteria and lounge at the top floor. On my way there, I saw a box with little kittens inside and the sign taped onto the box read “FREE BABY MOUNTAIN LIONS”. I took one, but on the way to the cafeteria, I lost it.

It’s February of the year that I turn 21 years old.  My birthday is in October, so it’s far too early to be thinking about it, but I am living the twenty-first year of my life as I type this, and dammit I feel old.  I remember writing silly blog entries in my various websites hosted by everyone imaginable (sans Oprah and The Pope) and I started when I was 13 years old.  I didn’t think I was young back then, but I was young back then, and I would post about the dumbest things.  Remember when LiveJournal was invite only?  That’s when I first got a LiveJournal, and I would post about silly things that happened in my life.  I would write about how much I loved writing, and my writing back then sucked.

I mean, yeah my writing still sucks, but at least it’s much better than when I was 14 years old.

I can’t picture myself as a 40 year old.  I still feel like a 12 year old right now, like I’m still going through puberty.  I love all sorts of child-like things, and I’m glad I still do.  I would get made fun of for liking these things when I was 12 years old, but now I take pride in enjoying things like Nick Jr., and pet stores, and even playgrounds.  Maybe the fact that I still look like a 12 year old is part of the reason why I feel like like one.

I wish I was immortal.  I would love to be this age forever and see how the world ends.  I’d like to see how we would evolve, or even devolve.

I just can’t become old.  I know I’d be a great mother, even a great grandmother, but I love my life right now, and I love my age, and I am very grateful.  So what if I’m unlucky in some fields?  I am happy, and I would like to be happy forever.

Also, it would be really awesome if I had to save the world via adventure.   It would be even more awesome if I could control time.